Sam: If you can’t laugh at yourself, life’s gonna seem a whole lot longer than you like.
Andrew Largeman: All right, so what are we laughing at you about?
Sam: I lied again… I have epilepsy.
Andrew Largeman: Which part are we laughing about?
Sam: had a seizure at the law office where I work, and they told me their insurance wouldn’t cover me unless I wore preventative covering.
Andrew Largeman: What’s preventative covering?
Sam: The helmet I was wearing… Oh come on, that’s funny. That’s really funny, I mean I’m the only person who wears a helmet to work who isn’t putting out fires or racing for NASCAR. But what do you do, I can’t quit… their insurance is amazing, what do you do? You laugh. I’m not saying I don’t cry but in between I laugh and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good.
Above is my favorite quote from Garden State… and I think Sam makes a lot of sense. I’m the type of person who laughs at things, who still smiles when things are bad, just like Sam laughs about her helmet, I joke about my IV cover being a bandage for a shark bite, I tell my friends I sound like I’ve been smoking for 50 years when I let out a wheezing laugh. But then again, that is not to say I don’t cry in between.
In fact, I haven’t cried…REALLY cried about having CF… for months. But this week I broke down, and had a really good cry. Even wIth all the positivity in my life, and all the support, I think its ok to cry. In fact, I think it’s HEALTHY. Sometimes, things just hurt more than I expect and it all builds up. CF isn’t something that can easily be brushed off. Sometimes, you just have to let it take the upper hand and let out all the hurt. Its not EASY to smile when you’re missing out on things with your friends because you’re too tired or you don’t feel good. It’s not EASY, but with strength it can be done. I see myself as pretty strong though, and even the strongest person can’t ignore the pain you get when CF takes something away from you! So you cry, you lay down, or talk to someone, or hug your dog, and you let out a really good cry. And it feels good! And I wake up the next day with squinty eyes and mascara down my face and everything is O.K. again. I’m back to laughing and smiling and beating CF up with a metal bat, physically and emotionally. I go back to enjoying the things CF doesn’ttake away from me and enjoying this life I live. I believe no matter how strong you are, you’re allowed to cry… as long as you go back to the fight after with even more strength than you began with.