Last night I went home for my Mom’s birthday. I knew I had tons of homework and reading to do but I put it off to be with my family. I did my treatments instead of work and then my Mom picked me up to go home. We had a great time laughing, eating, and sharing stories. I am glad my Mom had an enjoyable birthday and got to be with all of her kids. Even though the homework has built up, I am still able to be stress free. I know that I would rather remember the enjoyable birthday my mom had than the hours of reading. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and do what makes you and the ones you love happy first. Work builds up, its tough, but it shouldn’t define your life. I am fully planning on getting it done, just not instead of enjoying time with family.
This got me thinking about how life with CF becomes a balancing act. On one hand you want to do everything you can to appreciate the life you have. But when does the fun of enjoying your life come before the work and more importantly, before taking care of yourself? This weekend was “Spring Weekend” complete with a concert, a carnival, and a dance. I have been left exhausted and lacking sleep and my treatment regimen was thrown off by how busy I’ve been. I know that I’m not going to remember that when I look back on it. I’m going to remember the laughs I had with friends, the dancing, the screaming, the fun. But it’s difficult to balance taking everything out of life and making your life healthy enough to do that, because now I’m left feeling crummy.
Today I felt sooo tired to do any work, so I put it off to take care of myself. I woke up early to go for a run. I took the time to fit in my treatments between my classes. Since I was still tired from getting up early to exercise, I sacrificed some studying time to take a nap. I’m still exhausted which is making me have trouble concentrating (plus my month of TOBI killing bugs in my lungs is taking a toll on my energy level). I’m trying to balance getting the rest I need with the work that’s slowly but surely building up.
CF is so complex in the ways it controls your life sometimes, right now the CF part is weighing down the LIFE part. It’s frustrating to have to give up hanging out with friends and studying to my fullest potential to keep myself healthy when I let everything get out of balance. But its reassuring to know that with a little work and a little sacrifice on the LIFE end it will all be balanced out and I’ll be able to enjoy everything when I’m feeling my best!