First off, I apologize for how stagnant my blog has been recently. My week has been busy and filled with work. What free time I HAVE had, I’ve been using it to hang out with friends and have left my blog in the dust. Also, what writing I have been doing has been for my 80 page book for a class (which I am VERY excited about) . My updates will probably be weekly given the workload that is building up as the semester drags on, so look for them once a week!
Yesterday was one of those days. I went for a run with Kyle and was just having a crummy-feeling morning. It was one of those mornings where my lungs were just FILLED with mucus trying to come out. Running was helping that mucus come up, and that was a good thing…but so much at once was making me sick. Not to mention, all that effort coughing to get it out was tiring me out. So we were running through some paths in the woods across from campus and I just sprinted, hoping the exhaustion would just make me throw up all the gunk that was filling my stomach and my throat. Soon I stared dry heaving mixed with painful, forceful, gagging coughs. Eventually I gave up, my eyes were watering and I was so tired that I couldn’t bring myself to keep going even though we hadn’t even gone a mile yet. Kyle was there to hug me as I stood defeated. I try very hard to mask when CF is causing me pain and discouragement (partly for myself, partly for others… ), but yesterday I had to just accept it, as you shouldn’t deny when things are hard sometimes. At this point the pain was apparent… but Kyle didn’t make me feel vulnerable, he just supported me.
We just walked through the paths taking in the crisp fall air, Kyle making me laugh as he made a game out of catching the falling leaves. I was trying to turn the moment into an appreciation for the beauty of the day rather than as a defeat of my running. Kyle boosted my positivity by noting that this was better than not running at all. For the rest of the day, though, I was exhausted and still somewhat disappointed that I didn’t get a good run in.
But that night, my friend and I had been planning on going to Hot Yoga. Besides running, it was one of the BEST natural therapies/exercise for me. The hotness of the room opened up my lungs, I sweated so much that instead of feeling gross, I felt cleansed. The deep breathing felt incredible, the stretching of my core seemed to release the tension from coughing, and get this… I didn’t cough ONCE throughout the entire hour. This is definitely something I am going to continue and made me feel a lot better after my unsuccessful run.
To further make-up for yesterday, I decided to forget about yesterday’s run and go out with 100% this morning. It was 35 degrees as I made my way out at 8 am, I was bundled up and ready to go. I had a GREAT 3 mile non-stop run complete with hills and a fast pace. During and after the run, I felt great. It made me feel even better to prove to myself that one bad day won’t stop me. It’s never too late to start fresh and forget about the past. Just because you can’t accomplish something one day, it doesn’t mean you may not be able to the next. Keep trying. Keep pushing. Don’t ever give up.
