Ever since a couple years ago I’ve developed this deep respect and appreciation for old people (not sure if thats the politically correct term but I’m gonna use it anyway, you get the picture). I’ve been volunteering at a nursing home since freshman year and it has always offered me great comfort and pleasure just chatting with the people who reside there. This summer, I interned at a nursing home and LOVED it! I sometimes get looks of surprise and disgust that I could EVER enjoy working at a place like THAT, with smelly old cantankerous people who do nothing but fall asleep and play bingo. When I boast about my internship, healthcare workers turn up their nose and say “Well, THAT must have turned you off to nursing homes” But its just the opposite, those people, and all people who have lived a long life, have a satisfaction with life that is of paramount importance. We have a lot to learn from them, we need to respect them, and we need to put our efforts into providing them the care they deserve. Yet, in our society, instead of appreciating our wiser elders, we generally (and not everyone) isolate them and fail to see the beauty in their lives. These are the people we should sit down and talk with, these are the people we should learn from. They shouldn’t just be shoved in nursing homes and forgotten about, poo-pooed by healthcare workers because they aren’t any fun. (In fact, they are lots of fun, every day at my internship, one of the patients or residents managed to make me laugh, or at the very least, smile). If they do have to go to a nursing home they should go to one where they provide dignity, care, and support when these older people face difficulties too complex for their loved ones to properly provide for (and there are LOTS of nursing homes like that).
What strikes me about the outlook most old people have about life is how similar it is to my own. My comparison was proven when I was reading my psychology book today. “According to Cartenson, as people grow older- or more precisely as they see they have fewer years left– they become gradually more concerned with enjoying the present and less concerned with activities that prepare for the future.” (Gray, Peter. Psychology. New York: Worth Publishers, 2011.). The book also went on to say that older people tend to value relationships with friends and loved ones more than casual acquaintances and strangers and get angry less quickly than their younger counterparts.
I cannot say I have all the life experience as a 70 or 80 year old, after all, they have gone through many years of many trials and tribulations, many happy memories, and many milestones. Yet, what we have in common is the uncertainty of our future. Given the unknown amount of time we have left, we live it with everything we got. We squeeze the ones we love a little tighter, we don’t procrastinate living, and getting angry and worked up about small problems are a waste of this short time. For most people, it takes a lifetime to realize that you have to make the most of your time here. As a 21 year old who has that attitude so early, it is sometimes difficult to deal with. I recognize that I can’t expect everyone around me to have the same attitude I do. I wouldn’t have figured it out without having CF, I can guarantee it. But when I see an old man squeezing his wife’s hand, or when I see an old woman laughing, I get what they are so happy about. That’s why I don’t mind being around them. That’s why I appreciate them so much, because they are the people who finally understand all I’ve learned in my short life.
What I want people to know is you don’t have to have lived 80+ years to have such an outlook and you don’t have to have a shortened life-expectancy. The fact is, all of our lives are uncertain, its just that most of us don’t have a daily reminder of that fact. You don’t know what tomorrow will bring so you might as well make the best of today. Talk to your grandmother, your grandfather, and chill out when an old person is driving 20mph in a 30, they are probably just taking in the foliage that we aren’t bothering to appreciate. If you take a sec to talk to and really listen to people with wrinkles, gray hair, and a cane, who are probably less than a decade or two from dying, you’ll learn more about living than you’d think.
