We all have something

I got to the counter to pick up my order and was greeted (or not) by the most angry, rude, UNfriendly teenager. I kindly asked if this was the meal that came with the happy ending sundae and she said “No…. it doesn’t come with a sundae.” To which I thought “wellp, if it isn’t free, I won’t bother.” She was too unfriendly for me to bother asking for the upgraded meal which I knew came with a happy ending sundae… so I let it slide and handed over my ten dollar bill.

I watched as she moped around making sundaes, talked in monotone to a man on the phone who’s order she messed up, and uncaringly wandered around clearly hating her job. She slammed down hot fudge bottles, stomped toward the counter, and hardly made eye contact with the customers whom she was ringing up. I exchanged hesitant glances with other customers as she greeted them quite rudely and dismissively and felt an overwhelming sense of negativity overcoming me. I decided, in that moment, that I did, in fact, want that happy ending sundae, so I asked if I could upgrade. She promptly said “No, you already paid.” To which I politely said… “Well, can’t you just… add it on?” She “went to ask her manager” who apparently wasn’t there by five quick seconds it took her to walk in the back room and walk back out to proclaim “No, you already paid.” The anger welled up inside me and I shot back “Well… that’s terrible customer service.” She rolled her eyes and walked away. 

I wanted to be that person who flipped out…who yelled at her for being so miserable and how DARE she be unfriendly and work at Friendly’s. I wanted to call her manager over and demand a sundae. I wanted to tell her to find another job if she hated this one so much. I wanted to tell her she ruined my night with her negativity. But something in the girl’s eyes held me back. She hid behind a face full of acne and a head full of frizzy hair piled up on her head. I realized that life has to be pretty tough to have such an attitude…. so I thought “I wonder what her story is.” And though there is no excuse for being miserable, I saw something human in her and realized that she needed a smile and a friendly attitude towards her more than I needed her friendliness toward me.

Someone recently disclosed her own personal story filled with heartache to me. Tears welled up in my eyes and she said “Oh, don’t. Don’t. It’s just a part of my life.” I smiled and told her “Well… we all have something. Don’t we?” We all have a story. We all have experienced pain at some point in our lives. Maybe the pain is something superficial, maybe we’re someone who lets the small things ruin our day or we have a poor outlook on life. Or maybe we’ve all experienced real pain… because who’s to put a ranking on heartache? Upon finding out that I have CF, I’ve had people tip toe around their complaints…. They’ll say things like “Well, I just have a cold… I shouldn’t be complaining. I could never imagine going through what you do.” Well, we all have something. Don’t we?

Lately, I’ve been trying to put myself in others shoes. Instead of dismissing them as a miserable human, I’ve tried to see their story. Maybe I don’t know what that story is… but I know that I’ve never been perfect. I know that I’ve been stressed out and sick and said mean things that I regret. I know that I’m not always pleasant, especially when something is on my mind. I know that I’m human, and sometimes I could just use a smile when the world is getting to be too much. 

And it’s easy for me to dismiss people’s pain as unreasonable. It’s easy for me to say “just have a better attitude” or “wait until you experience something real.” And I’ve thought and said those things before. But it is important to realize… for those people, who complain and who lament their lives that (to me) aren’t really so bad…. this IS real pain. It’s all relative.

That girl at Friendly’s could have just been a miserable human being. She could have hated the world for no reason, she could have ruined my day and not cared. She could have just been an unfeeling, heartless ass hole. But I’m willing to bet she had a story. Because… we all have something. 

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