We have a problem in today’s society. People are always asking, “What’s next?” And what if, we just don’t know?
My fiancé and I were engaged in one of these conversations one night, filled with “by the time we’re x age, we would like to x, y, z” and we found ourselves completely unable to answer the question. Until, he said, “I’m just really happy with where we are now, so let’s just keep doing that for a little while.” That phrase put me back into the present, a place I needed to be, because sometimes when you keep looking for the next step, you miss out on where your life is now.
When we were younger, life had a predictable set of steps to follow. Elementary school, middle school, high school. For me, I knew after high school would be college, after college I would be an “adult.” Then, when I reached that step, “what’s next” for me was a job, grad school, and marriage. Now as grad school is wrapping up, our wedding is quickly approaching, the answer to “what’s next” just seems so final. So we chose not to answer it, just yet.
There’s this set of rules, it seems, we are supposed to follow. Once you’re married you need to get a house with enough bedrooms to populate the world with your offspring. But what if we like living in our one bedroom, with our quirky neighbors, and borrowed furniture, and time to enjoy each other’s company? Life is filled with so many pressures, like when you’ll have kids, and when you’ll settle down, and we just aren’t ready to answer to them.
Then throw CF in the mix, and your head starts to spin. When I was younger, the timeline of my life got a little blurry once it got to my mid to late 20s. After all, the median life expectancy back then was early 30s, so I figured I would be getting ready for old age, not that I would be the spry 26 year old I’ve now found myself looking at in the mirror. How do you live a life that you could never picture in your head?
You just enjoy it. Some people might go wild, explore the world, go skydiving, live like you’re dying shit, but what if you’re just really happy to be alive, to be an adult with a future, to be able to wake up in the morning, go to a job that you love, and come home and cook dinner with your future husband? These simple things delight me, and they are what’s next for me. If you live your life dreaming of grand experiences, you will never fully appreciate the day to day moments that make up a life.
On Sunday, we drove down to the beach with my family. It was a mild day for February, so we played in the sand with my nephew, ran around with my dog, and just enjoyed the salt air, the waves, and the warm sun. There was no where else I would have rather been. Everything about that moment was perfect.
Who knows if the future will bring us a new house, a new hometown, or children. All we know now, is that we like this life we are living. And sometimes it’s okay to not know what’s next.