I will admit, this last round of IVs/hospital was tough. At the beginning, while I was coping with feeling completely useless and a little bit blindsided, I’ll admit I was not being positive. I felt helpless, and I began to actually believe that I wasn’t going to get better. Then, I decided that I had to start seeing the good in each day if I was ever going to get through it. SO, each night, I wrote down one or two things that either made me smile, that I was grateful for, or that I would typically take for granted were it not for the fact that I was sick. This continued for the week after my PICC was removed because I started seeing all of the blessings around me that I tended to overlook before I spent a month trying to get better. Coincidentally, this list ended up being 65 blessings long… so here are 65 blessings for 65 roses. (If you haven’t heard the 65 roses story read it here.)
1) When your friend texts you to see how you’re doing
2) When your cousin stops by on a Friday night just to hang out and proceeds to makes you laugh uncontrollably
3) When your friend brings you lunch from your favorite local pizza place
4) Being home, getting a Christmas tree, sitting by the fire like you’ve never left
5) Getting to spend the week with your dog
6) Naps
7) When your fever finally breaks and you can enjoy a few hours of being awake/alert
8) Coming home to your apartment to your roommate that helps you bring in your vest in the freezing cold and then proceeds to feed you soup and fresh baked crescent rolls
9) Realizing you’ll be okay
10) Having a doctor who can joke about the fun sounding name of your med: moxy floxy!
11) Being annoyed at how much your parents smother you, and then realizing how thankful you are that they care this much about you. Realizing you wouldn’t get through this without them.
12) Finally crying when it all becomes too overwhelming
13) Having a boss who just gets it
14) Seeing your PFT numbers go so low that it makes you really want to commit to exercising this winter
15) Laughing with a nurse
16) Teaching a med student that exercise is what has kept me alive…. Being smarter about CF than said med student
17) Getting a massage after being sore for days
18) Finally not having a fever
19) Dressing changes
20) Asking for motivation from your boyfriend and getting a photo back of him in front of a karate studio saying kick it’s butt!
21) A hospital room full of friends and laughing
22) When someone finally says, “You look better.” When the doctors, nurses, and physical therapists listening to your lungs finally say they sound clear.
23) Being able to have enough energy to run after 2 weeks. Being proud of that one mile
24) When the nurses have no idea who you are cause you’re never in the hospital
25) Homemade cookies
26) Just sitting and reading a book
27) Ellen Degeneres
28) Taking a deep breath and realizing your lungs are finally filling up more
29) Chest PT and the conversations you have with your physical therapist
30) Visits from the 4 nurses you personally know who work at children’s
31) Finally having an appetite again
32) Sleeping through the night
33) Hearing your nurse say “You WILL get better” just when you were beginning to doubt that
34) Doctors that are easy on the eyes
35) Hillary’s cupcakes
36) Catching up with an old friend
37) Surprise visitors
38) Flowers, edible arrangements, cards, balloons, and teddy bears.
39) Getting to talk about your trip to California with a nurse who lived there
40) Discharge day
41) Coming home to a package with a handwritten letter, a book, and a CD mix
42) Sleeping in your own bed
43) The day your PICC gets removed
44) Getting a text from your favorite home care nurse to a) tell you about a great cream to get rid of the PICC scar and b) to see how you’re doing
45) Taking a shower with a full two hands
46) Being healthy enough to go see your friends
47) This life that seemed so mediocre before, and finally going back to that sense of normalcy, routine, and feeling empowered to live your life without restriction
48) Cold air in your lungs, because you’re finally strong enough to leave the house
49) That wake up call that CF truly does suck, and it doesn’t waver… But neither do you
50) The quiet time to think in the car on the way to and from work.
51) A hug from your friends mom and her saying “there’s my beautiful fighter”
52) A day where you can say “I feel great” instead of… “I’m getting there”
53) Laughing so hard without a cough attack
54) Lots of “likes” on photos of you doing better
55) Being busy at work
56) Talking to an older person on the phone
57) Catching up with your coworkers, those work place conversions that you forgot were so entertaining
58) Going out with your friends and dancing
59) A New Years kiss
60) Cooking a meal for yourself
61) Skiing and the way you feel when you take your boots off at the end of the day
62) Gondola/chairlift convos with strangers
63) Long car rides
64) Being with your best friends
65) Laying in your bed at the end of a perfect weekend and thinking “I finally have no worries, concerns, or fears.” And sleeping soundly.
