Commuting to work shows me the worst of Boston drivers. And it’s disappointing because I know the people of Boston are such good, caring individuals… So I don’t get why we drive like such inconsiderate, heartless, cut throat people. I’m as guilty of it as the next person, but if we could all stop being “that person” who ruins the road for everyone else, I think our roads would be a better place. Not only that, but maybe we would be a bit more compassionate, less rushed, and maybe we would start to see the big picture. The fact is: we are all in this together.
The morning commute is filled with people just trying to get to work, just trying to get to the place where they must go in order to live, make rent or mortgage payments, feed their kids, be able to afford a night or two out with friends, etc. We are all in this daily grind together. Life is tough, but we do what we gotta do to get by even if that means sitting in hours of traffic with angry drivers to get to our jobs that pay enough to get by (and if we’re lucky maybe we even like that job!)
And the evening commute is more of the same. We are all going home, whatever and wherever that may be. Home to a tiny apartment that we share with 3 roommates because that job that pays enough to get by… only pays enough to be able to afford either nights out with friends, school loans, or a nice apartment… But not all three. Maybe home is a nice house with 3 kids and a loving partner. Maybe home is your parents basement or the room you grew up in. Maybe home is a nice little one bedroom that you share with your cat or maybe just the ghosts in the walls. We are all trying to get home to the place where we are able to live out our day to day lives in whatever way we see fit.
And all of us drivers are lost in thoughts on that long ride home. We are thinking about all the things we didn’t get to at work today, we are thinking about what’s for dinner, we are worried about money and the bills, or our relationships, or our kids, or our parents, or our future, or our children’s future, or our friends… Our minds are filled with the worries of every day life, just like the guy in the jaguar next to you (who, by the way, just got pulled over for speeding).
We tend to forget that the people behind the wheel are people, just like us, and not just a car for you to cut off to get to your date one minute sooner, or to honk at just because you’re feeling frustrated. So here we go… here are the top 10 ways we can stop being “that person” and start being the compassionate people that I know we all are:
1) Don’t be that person that cuts ahead of merging traffic only to make everyone stop to let you in once you get to the front. You are not only creating traffic, but you are telling everyone else that you and your problems are more important than they and their problems are. And 9 times out of 10, you and your problems aren’t! You might think that your 6 pm hair appointment is more important than the green subaru’s yoga class, but the gray Rav4 is about to miss her daughters soccer game for the 3rd time. And she’s waiting in traffic just like everyone else.
2) Don’t be that person that drives less than one foot away from the car in front of you. You aren’t going to get there any faster by driving up someone’s ass, and you’re just putting everyone in danger if, God forbid, a squirrel… or better yet: a child jumps into traffic and that person has to stop. Relax, give them space. Be safe, and be nice.
3) Don’t be that person who honks at the car in front of you when the car in front of you has nowhere to go nor any choice in the matter. We are all stuck at this red light of life and your honking isn’t going to make us suddenly start moving.
4) Don’t be that person who slams on their brakes to take a look at the accident ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD. Yeah we all have some natural curiosity, but your (and everyone else’s) rubber necking just added a half hour to everyone’s commute.
5) Don’t be that person that speeds up when the person next to you puts on their blinker to merge. Why? Because one car in front of you is going to add hours to your conmute? Hunny, one red light and you’re both back to where you started so just be a doll and let me in.
6) Don’t be that person that chooses to not use their blinker and just merges whenever the hell they want forcing everyone around them to slam on their brakes to let them in like they are some sort of royal duck. Who are you. The rules apply to all of us and a little blink blink shows everyone that, once again, you aren’t more important than them.
7) Don’t be that person that flips someone off for following the rules, like… Going the speed limit, or stopping at red lights, or letting pedestrians cross the street… Or being polite and letting people in. Never underestimate the power of a good bird… But it should be reserved for true ass holes, not unknowing rule following drivers. My Nana used to blow a kiss to anyone that flipped her off. The world would be a better place if we were a little like her.
8) Don’t be that person that texts and drives. Just don’t.
9) Don’t be that person that drives around people who are letting runners/walkers cross the road. I’ve almost died twice because of people like you. If someone stops in front of you, it’s probably for a reason and the 10 seconds it takes for them to stop isn’t worth killing someone over.
10) and finally… Don’t be that person who follows an ambulance in a traffic jam. Unless you are having an emergency as dire as the person in that ambulance… You should pull over and wait just like the rest of us.
So it comes down to realizing, and humbling yourself, with the fact that we are all together in this. Your problems and your life are not more valid nor important than the person’s next to you. The way you drive is just perpetuating negativity and bad feelings. So the next time you cut someone off, or honk, or only think about yourself… Glance over at that other driver… And you may be surprised to see a person, a human being, just like you, behind that wheel.
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